Cuatro de Julio

So initially I was pretty bummed out that I am not with everyone for the 4th of July. It is probably been my favorite holiday over the past few years. It usually includes taking a few laps at the park, getting a group photo taken on a 6¨ button and then hitting several bbqs including Tylers parents house for ribs. I am really going to miss that this year as there is not alot of meat here. Luckily yesterday after I got off work (Yeah, here in Guatemala Saturday is pretty sweet because you get off work at noon) there was quite a stir going on at the house. After getting my room set up and my first time doing laundry in a big wash bin next to the sink I saw the girls blowing up some balloons. When I asked what was going on they said they were having a quinceñera for Flory (also goes by susy) and they were having a party. That brightened my spirits a bit. And after two hours of a pastor speaking in Spanish and three different moves due to rain there was a party. It was mostly family, but there was a lot of people. The dad Juan told me that the food was a traditional Guatemalan fiesta meal. It consisted of soup with a piece of beef roast in it, and tamals. These are not like tamales. It is made with white flour maiz, wrapped in a corn leaf and steamed but there is no filling. When filled they are called chichuritos, the filling is usually a tomato sauce.

I have a bunch of pictures and will put them up later today or this week sometime. You will find that there are not alot of pictures of me. This is for two reasons. One, I am the person taking the pictures, and two I want this blog to be about the stories, experiences, and people I meet, by me not of me.

I read an essay by my dad the other day he wrote about finding purpose and self actualization in regard to Thoreau´s ¨Walden¨. I found it interesting that alot of the things in it were things I had already realized, yet are traps I fall into over and over again. For instance the fact that money and stuff wont make me happy. I learned this early at the capital, when I made good money at a young age and found it all to be alot for not. I learned it´s not guaranteed and no where does it say it will last for ever. It´s interesting how I´ve never really cared (gave great value) about money (or possessions for that matter) yet it is still to this day one of the biggest concerns of my life. During that time my philosophy was if you have it, spend it have a good time, who cares, its going to come and go anyway. I sometimes resent the fact that I know how irresponsible that is now, especially when I think about how I bought the same cd three different times because I lost it or scratched it or something. It´s funny how people think that better jobs and more pay will make their life better. All I found it to make me was more busy, more accountable, and the spender of more money. I always laugh when I hear people say now that I got this promotion I can save for this or that or put something away, when time and time again I see them just buy for frivelous junk that they wouldn´t have been tempted to buy previously. Or that they´re so busy now that they have money but spend it eating out and on escaping from the grind of their increased workload. I like being out of the rat race for money and power right now, I guess one of the things that has always been a barrier for me is that I am good at the rat race. I´m a pretty good b.s´er, give me a subject I´ll bet I can talk to you about it for ten minutes or so. Ask me who the people who have the answers are I bet I know atleast a few of them. Give me a task no one else is willing to take I´ll bet I can get it done by any means necessary. The problem, as pointed out in the essay, that I also relate to is at the end of the day that´s not who I want to be, or what will truly fulfill me. To be the person that succeeds at spin, that can sacrifice morals or faith to get ahead, or confuse passion with conceit, or be acquaintences with everyone and friends with no one. These are not things that I find fruitful or find regard for yet I feel offer me the greatest chance for success in career, security, and intellectual fulfillment and ¨making something of myself¨. The problem is, as the essay points out, those successes are not the true path to ¨Making the Big Time¨.